@samyaoued

Samy Aoued @samyaoued

If there was trauma in your first parental relationships, you will continue those patterns into adulthood.

If you were not modeled emotional maturity, clear communication + conflict resolution, + vulnerability in these relationships how would you know how to have a healthy relationship?

Trauma bonds become the result.

Trauma bonds are relationships where we unconsciously re-enact our past. The mind and body seek the familiar. That familiar will feel like instant chemistry, sexual attraction, or the cultures favorite: “sweeping someone off their feet.” Within trauma bonds we are living a childhood fantasy where someone can fix, save, or rescue us.

If we just “love” them enough, we will be chosen.

If we just betray ourselves enough, we won’t be abandoned.

All signs of a wounded attachment in childhood.

Our partners are not here to save us. Or complete us. They are not an escape route. They are not responsible for our happiness. That’s our work.

My own relationship began as a trauma bond.

And through the process of doing the work together, I am the first to say that if you come from chaos or unpredictability, they will feel “boring.” We still laugh about this.

When you only know chaos or betrayal, it takes adjustments to learn authentic love. It takes work to view the person you love triggering you and see where that comes from in YOU. Core wounding.

Authentic love is a space of pure acceptance. A space to grow and evolve. A space to show up with your shadow and consciously create life on your own terms #selfhealers
@the.holistic.psychologist

If there was trauma in your first parental relationships, you will continue those patterns into adulthood. If you were not modeled emotional maturity, clear communication + conflict resolution, + vulnerability in these relationships how would you know how to have a healthy relationship? Trauma bonds become the result. Trauma bonds are relationships where we unconsciously re-enact our past. The mind and body seek the familiar. That familiar will feel like instant chemistry, sexual attraction, or the cultures favorite: “sweeping someone off their feet.” Within trauma bonds we are living a childhood fantasy where someone can fix, save, or rescue us. If we just “love” them enough, we will be chosen. If we just betray ourselves enough, we won’t be abandoned. All signs of a wounded attachment in childhood. Our partners are not here to save us. Or complete us. They are not an escape route. They are not responsible for our happiness. That’s our work. My own relationship

Human beings have 2 core needs: to be seen and heard. This allows us to be uniquely expressed as our authentic selves.

As children, most of us don’t fully have these needs met. This becomes an inner child core wound.

A core wound is a pattern you experienced in your earliest attachments that had not been resolved. Most people don’t have an awareness that the core wound exists.

The more protected they are the core wound, the more they will project and find people and spaces to unconsciously act out this core wound. We can become emotionally addicted to our core wound, looking in every situation for a space to act it out.

This is why you see many adults having age regressions. These look like tantrums, silent treatment, pounding fists, slamming doors, throwing things, name calling, all of these are developmental behaviors that took place when the core wound began.

We continue them because they are the coping mechanisms we had at that time. We haven’t learned new ones. As adults, it is our responsibility.

My core wound is being seen. This comes out with my partner as me feeling “not considered.” Her free-spirited nature will often trigger this core wound.

This is when (through practice) I find my wise adult self. The wise adult self is the adult part of us who doesn’t need to use child-like coping mechanisms. This is the part of self who can observe these feelings, acknowledge they come from the past, and allow the energy to run through the body.

Sometimes I’ll say “I’m feeling the story that I’m not considered right now.” This reminds me that this is a core belief, not the truth. It still feels like a wave of emotion over me, but now it’s not “me.” It’s something I’m experiencing. It’s something I can witness, not attach to.

The wise self knows we are simply experiencing different emotions and perceptions.

The wise self sees and hears the inner child, then guides the inner child into a space of choice #selfhealers
@the.holistic.psychologist

Human beings have 2 core needs: to be seen and heard. This allows us to be uniquely expressed as our authentic selves. As children, most of us don’t fully have these needs met. This becomes an inner child core wound. A core wound is a pattern you experienced in your earliest attachments that had not been resolved. Most people don’t have an awareness that the core wound exists. The more protected they are the core wound, the more they will project and find people and spaces to unconsciously act out this core wound. We can become emotionally addicted to our core wound, looking in every situation for a space to act it out. This is why you see many adults having age regressions. These look like tantrums, silent treatment, pounding fists, slamming doors, throwing things, name calling, all of these are developmental behaviors that took place when the core wound began. We continue them because they are the coping mechanisms we had at that time. We haven’t learned new ones. As

This is reparenting in action.

Most of us speak to ourselves in ways that are dismissive, abrupt, and unkind.

We reject our experiences and emotions. We invalidated them. We deny our own reality.

This is the internalized voice of our parents. We go on to do this to ourselves our entire adult life.

Inner child work is about speaking in a way with the awareness that within you is a child part of self.

I practiced this a ton the past week. As I released my new healing platform, I felt consistently scared + overwhelmed.

Before this work I would have belittled myself. Or ignored myself all together. I’d trudge through and invalidate how scary it was for me.

But through the work, I saw myself. I very validated everything. When I couldn’t sleep near launch and I had doomsday thoughts I’d just say “It’s ok Nicole. You’re just doing something new. It’s scary because it’s unfamiliar. And it’s ok that you can’t sleep. You’ll catch up tomorrow. You put your all into it and I’m proud of you.” Warning: this will feel awkward. But with practice it will transform your life. You’ll also get messages and clear signals from your inner child as you do this work.

Trust this process.

Connecting with the inner child is a core part of self awareness and emotional regulation.

Inner child work heals. Do you speak to your inner child? #selfhealers
@the.holistic.psychologist

This is reparenting in action. Most of us speak to ourselves in ways that are dismissive, abrupt, and unkind. We reject our experiences and emotions. We invalidated them. We deny our own reality. This is the internalized voice of our parents. We go on to do this to ourselves our entire adult life. Inner child work is about speaking in a way with the awareness that within you is a child part of self. I practiced this a ton the past week. As I released my new healing platform, I felt consistently scared + overwhelmed. Before this work I would have belittled myself. Or ignored myself all together. I’d trudge through and invalidate how scary it was for me. But through the work, I saw myself. I very validated everything. When I couldn’t sleep near launch and I had doomsday thoughts I’d just say “It’s ok Nicole. You’re just doing something new. It’s scary because it’s unfamiliar. And it’s ok that you can’t sleep. You’ll catch up tomorrow. You put your all into

[sound on for full desert experience 🤣] Somehow Geordi ran around the sand dunes for 3 hours and still wasn’t tired. Don’t underestimate those thicc 4 inch legs, corgis are athletic AF. 💪
@lacorgi

[sound on for full desert experience 🤣] Somehow Geordi ran around the sand dunes for 3 hours and still wasn’t tired. Don’t underestimate those thicc 4 inch legs, corgis are athletic AF. 💪

Winter is such an incredible time to photograph Grand Canyon. I have two spots left in my winter workshop this coming January. Bring a friend and get a great deal on these last two spots.
@adamschallau

Winter is such an incredible time to photograph Grand Canyon. I have two spots left in my winter workshop this coming January. Bring a friend and get a great deal on these last two spots.

• 🐲 U r b a n . D r a g o n 🐉•
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🏙🏙🖱💻💻💻📖📖
🏙🏙🖱💻💻💻📖📖
🏙🖱🖱💻💻💻📖🏢
🏙🏙💻💻💻🖱🏢🏢
🏙🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢
🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢
🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢
🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢
🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢
🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢
🎚📖📓💻💻🖱🏢🏢
📖📖📓🏙💻🖱🏢🏢
📖📖📓🏙💻💻🏢🏢
📖📖📓🏙🏙💻🏢🏢
📖📓📓🏙🏙🏙🏢🏢
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• 🏙Summoning the mythical beast to safeguard the pearl of the orient 🐲🔮🏙// #standwithhongkong 🇭🇰•
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Featured in @structure_bestshots 🏆 @tv_leadinglines 🏆
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#discoverhongkong #instameethk #tv_leadinglines #tv_pointofview #lookingup_architecture #arkiromantix #streetdreamsmag #ig_ometry #archi_focus_on #minimal_lookup #archi_unlimited #architecture_view #arquitecturamx #archilovers #archimasters #ic_architecture #jj_architecture #architecturephotography #creative_architecture #fatalframes #illgrammers #citygrammers #theimaged #rustlord_unity #icu_architecture #sky_high_architecture #depthobsessed #urbanandstreet #way2ill
@garyfive

• 🐲 U r b a n . D r a g o n 🐉• . 🏙🏙🖱💻💻💻📖📖 🏙🏙🖱💻💻💻📖📖 🏙🖱🖱💻💻💻📖🏢 🏙🏙💻💻💻🖱🏢🏢 🏙🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢 🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢 🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢 🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢 🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢 🎚🎚💻💻🖱🏢🏢🏢 🎚📖📓💻💻🖱🏢🏢 📖📖📓🏙💻🖱🏢🏢 📖📖📓🏙💻💻🏢🏢 📖📖📓🏙🏙💻🏢🏢 📖📓📓🏙🏙🏙🏢🏢 📖📓📓🏙🏙🏙🏢🏢 . ——————————— • 🏙Summoning the mythical beast to safeguard the pearl of the orient 🐲🔮🏙// #standwithhongkong 🇭🇰• ——————————— . [ 2 7 0 ] . Featured in @structure bestshots 🏆 @tv leadinglines 🏆 . . #discoverhongkong #instameethk #tv leadinglines #tv pointofview #lookingup architecture #arkiromantix #streetdreamsmag #ig ometry #archi focus on #minimal

I had so much fun taking portraits of @kizziecreep #makeportraits
@jongsunpark_

I had so much fun taking portraits of @kizziecreep #makeportraits

2020 calendar update:

I just found out my dad is very sick. 😣 So I am flying home to Tokyo in a couple of hours. 
I am so sorry but the shipping of the calendars/books will be delayed till early December. We will do our best to ship them so that you’ll have them before the holiday. Thank you for your understanding. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 BB and PB were confused at the airport. 😢
@bordernerd

2020 calendar update: I just found out my dad is very sick. 😣 So I am flying home to Tokyo in a couple of hours. I am so sorry but the shipping of the calendars/books will be delayed till early December. We will do our best to ship them so that you’ll have them before the holiday. Thank you for your understanding. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 BB and PB were confused at the airport. 😢

What do you think about this design?

Design by: Sergey Fedotov

rights belong to their respective owner(s).
#architecture #architecturephotograpy #design #arquitectura #sebarchitecture
@sebarchitecture

What do you think about this design? Design by: Sergey Fedotov rights belong to their respective owner(s). #architecture #architecturephotograpy #design #arquitectura #sebarchitecture

Sweet video shared by @matt_galland Would you attempt this?  I definitely would! ・・・
It’s Monday. (Friday) 😉 Hit it hard! Pound down a Rockstar, Netflix Top Gun, listen to some Scorpions, or if you are like me, drop the kids off at school in the minivan, have a bowl of Cheerios with a multivitamin, and run up the face of Mount @timpanogos ! @gopro #hero8 #werutah #utah
@werutah

Sweet video shared by @matt galland Would you attempt this? I definitely would! ・・・ It’s Monday. (Friday) 😉 Hit it hard! Pound down a Rockstar, Netflix Top Gun, listen to some Scorpions, or if you are like me, drop the kids off at school in the minivan, have a bowl of Cheerios with a multivitamin, and run up the face of Mount @timpanogos ! @gopro #hero8 #werutah #utah

Some film from fall 2017 // #ektar100
@snarkblurb

Some film from fall 2017 // #ektar100

dont worry, opportunities come around more often than you think
@arytron

dont worry, opportunities come around more often than you think

家族との距離が近い『ソラマドキッチン🍳』 キッチンとダイニングテーブルを兼ねてるから、スペースをギュッとできちゃう✨

家族みんなが集まる『ソラマドキッチン』😊 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ 11月23日(土)、24日(日)の二日間、清水区三保にて『ソラマドの家 構造見学会』を開催致します🏠

完成してからでは見る事が出来ない部分になります。
ぜひこの機会にお越しください😙 
@soramado.shizuoka.official

#soramado
#ソラマド
#シンプルライフ
#おしゃれな家
#家
#家族
#house
#新築
#注文住宅
#住宅
#インテリア
#interior
#マイホーム
#おしゃれ
#建築
#設計事務所
#デザイン
#自然素材
#マイホーム計画
#一戸建て
#暮らし
#キッチン
#リビング
#シンプル
#おしゃれさんと繋がりたい
#カフェ
#北欧インテリア
#ナチュラル
#注文住宅
#コーヒー
@soramado.shizuoka.official

家族との距離が近い『ソラマドキッチン🍳』 キッチンとダイニングテーブルを兼ねてるから、スペースをギュッとできちゃう✨ 家族みんなが集まる『ソラマドキッチン』😊 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ 11月23日(土)、24日(日)の二日間、清水区三保にて『ソラマドの家 構造見学会』を開催致します🏠 完成してからでは見る事が出来ない部分になります。 ぜひこの機会にお越しください😙 @soramado.shizuoka.official #soramado #ソラマド #シンプルライフ #おしゃれな家 #家 #家族 #house #新築 #注文住宅 #住宅 #インテリア #interior #マイホーム #おしゃれ #建築 #設計事務所 #デザイン #自然素材 #マイホーム計画 #一戸建て #暮らし #キッチン #リビング #シンプル #おしゃれさんと繋がりたい #カフェ #北欧インテリア

• Mountain Reminiscing •

It’s been a while since I’ve been on the road. I remember meeting @idletheorybus a few years back and being so intrigued with their life and the idea of living in a van and calling the open road home. It was around this time I actually started saving up for a van of my own. However, it’s been about a year since I’ve added any new funds to that goal... and I am okay with that. Sometimes life lets you see new paths and new interests take form. I’m not saying I’ll never get that dream van, I will in time but for now I’m loving the direction I’m pointed in. Hope everyone has an epic outdoor adventure this week, cheers!
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#dscvr_earth #agameoftones #moodygrams #lensbible #rsa_outdoors #allaboutadventures #livefolk #visualambassadors #artofvisuals #createexplore #earthfocus #watchthisinstagood #visualsoflife #shotzdelight #ig_color #stayandwander #madewithmefoto #beautifuldestinations #westbysouthwest #southwestheart #adventurevisuals #staywild #california
@collincreates

• Mountain Reminiscing • It’s been a while since I’ve been on the road. I remember meeting @idletheorybus a few years back and being so intrigued with their life and the idea of living in a van and calling the open road home. It was around this time I actually started saving up for a van of my own. However, it’s been about a year since I’ve added any new funds to that goal... and I am okay with that. Sometimes life lets you see new paths and new interests take form. I’m not saying I’ll never get that dream van, I will in time but for now I’m loving the direction I’m pointed in. Hope everyone has an epic outdoor adventure this week, cheers! . . . . . #dscvr earth #agameoftones #moodygrams #lensbible #rsa outdoors #allaboutadventures #livefolk #visualambassadors #artofvisuals #createexplore #earthfocus #watchthisinstagood #visualsoflife #shotzdelight #ig color #stayandwander #madewithmefoto #beautifuldestinations #westbysouthwest #southwestheart #adventurevisuals

🌍 London, UK by @yannik_gaertner . 👉 Follow the featured feed for more 👈
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🔷 Admin: @mikecleggphoto .
🏖️ Also follow @travelanddestinations . ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
➱ Features: Tag us in your photos and use #bestcitybreaks
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#London #UK #europe #bcb_yannik_gaertner
@bestcitybreaks

🌍 London, UK by @yannik gaertner . 👉 Follow the featured feed for more 👈 👥 Tag your friends 👥 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 🔷 Admin: @mikecleggphoto . 🏖️ Also follow @travelanddestinations . •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ➱ Features: Tag us in your photos and use #bestcitybreaks •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 📧 Spotted a mistake? Please email. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• #London #UK #europe #bcb yannik gaertner

Kitchenart. Sober and clean.
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#omdat_toparchitectuur_ons_verbindt #toparchitecture by @govaertvanhoutte #architectuur #detail #arquitectura #arquitecturalovers #architecturestudent  @rietveldprojects_construction #architecturephotography by @cafeine #seat #durlet @durletdesignfurniture #kitchen #vola @vola.denmark
@rietveldprojects_rrr

Kitchenart. Sober and clean. • • • #omdat toparchitectuur ons verbindt #toparchitecture by @govaertvanhoutte #architectuur #detail #arquitectura #arquitecturalovers #architecturestudent @rietveldprojects construction #architecturephotography by @cafeine #seat #durlet @durletdesignfurniture #kitchen #vola @vola.denmark

Early fall mornings #leicaq2
@withhearts

Early fall mornings #leicaq2

🌱 for @mirjambaitsch
@anika

🌱 for @mirjambaitsch

Probably the last tub of roses from our garden this year before everything gets cut back. I'm standing here still in my coat and damp gloves enjoying them, imploring the husband to look and look because in forty-five minutes the baby will wake up and tug their heads off.
@jo_rodgers

Probably the last tub of roses from our garden this year before everything gets cut back. I'm standing here still in my coat and damp gloves enjoying them, imploring the husband to look and look because in forty-five minutes the baby will wake up and tug their heads off.

Taking Moo moo to her first of many adventures , clearly didn't know what to expect taking her pram down nearly 10 lots of stairs to see that every other couple had there carriers on. 
Myself and @kjae_dqfit thought we try out the capabilities of the @oppomobileau .
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#urbanandstreet
#moodygrams #agameoftones#fatalframes 
#teamcozy #hypebeast#streetshared
#theimaged#yngkillers#streetmobs
#urbanromantix #gramslayers #visualambassadors #createexplore #way2ill #illgrammers#meistershots
#createcommune#heatercentral #moodyports #globalnightsquad #street_ninjas #beautifuldestinations #lensbible #dowhatyoucant #samsungau #beautifuldestinations #opporenoseries
@mackenziequarterman

Taking Moo moo to her first of many adventures , clearly didn't know what to expect taking her pram down nearly 10 lots of stairs to see that every other couple had there carriers on. Myself and @kjae dqfit thought we try out the capabilities of the @oppomobileau . . . . . #urbanandstreet #moodygrams #agameoftones #fatalframes #teamcozy #hypebeast #streetshared #theimaged #yngkillers #streetmobs #urbanromantix #gramslayers #visualambassadors #createexplore #way2ill #illgrammers #meistershots #createcommune #heatercentral #moodyports #globalnightsquad #street ninjas #beautifuldestinations #lensbible #dowhatyoucant #samsungau #beautifuldestinations #opporenoseries